The Iron Yuppie

The U.S. population (and probably the world) has such a wide range of people. From complete morons, to partial morons, to self righteous pigs, to elitist bastards who think they are above it all (that would be me). As example #1, I encourage you to check out the excellent Smoking Gun website where people wrote letters about the Janet Jackson breast thing. (Courtesy of the Smoking Gun)

A very small sampling (all punctuation is verbatim):
"i am anything but a prude i have owned a strip club and later a adult site but this isnt about 1st admendment rights this is just pure lack of respect for american families and decency"
Perhaps you should have thought about that before you opened a GODDAMN STRIP CLUB.

"I don't consider myself to be a finatic,but i do fear the wrath of GOD if our country continues it's moral decline... GOD'S hand of protection has been on this country for a long time,but i feel he is slowly starting to pull it away"
First, I've never been a grammar nazi, but this woman seems to be not only avoiding the grammar rules, but actively attempting to repeal them through this letter (which I can only assume is a subtle form of civil disobedience). Second, God has better things to do than watch out for this, or any other country. Trust me on this one. Countries come and go... God could care less if we stick around.

"The commercial showing a horse breaking wind in the face of a young woman was far more disturbing. How about the 4 day erection that was mentioned during a Viagra commercial."
FOUR day erection? HOW DID I MISS THIS COMMERCIAL? Look, I'm all for solving erectile disfunction, but is a pill a short time before it's time to get bizz-ay really that bad? Do you really need a hard-on for 4 days? I mean, that's just painful. It's like the opposite of those old Tampax commercials... "You can't swim, you can't play sports, you can't ride a horse ..." As an aside, I absolutely love the term “breaking wind”. It’s so Victorian.

But my absolutely favorite is this one... I won't even reproduce it here for fear of reducing the impact:
The Smoking Gun: Archive

And, thanks to the archival policy of our federal government, we’ll be able to read about “Madonna humping a football” well into the 22nd century.

D